Punctured left lung. Attempted asphyxiation. Dislocated shoulder. Cut-off circulation. This sounds like a list of injuries after a boxing match, not your standard Tuesday undressing in the ladies’ locker room. These are actual things women have experienced during and after a workout while strapped in to their non-ENELL sports bras, not to mention sheer panic and terror when you realize you’re actually stuck inside. We have all been there!
There’s Dani Stone who recounts a nearly dislocated shoulder after trying to unhinge herself from a sports bra. “I gave myself a charlie horse in the neck that lasted two weeks,” she said. “Damn sweaty straight jackets is what they are!” Thankfully, the ENELL has a front closure system so there’s no gymnastics required to get out of it!
For Kenlie Tiggeman, it’s a six-of-one, half-dozen-of-another fiasco. “Either my circulation is getting cut off, or they’re not staying in place,” she recounts of her sports bra nightmares. She’s even had to do the multi-bra walk of shame. “I wore two sports bras last week in the hopes of keeping everything in check, but they rode up while I was on the elliptical. I had to cross my arms and walk out of the gym to put everything back in place.”
And she’s hardly the only one who’s had to double up. Or even triple up, in Gray Brand’s case. In high school, she remembers forcing herself into three sports bras while running the two mile “while an audience of my peers chanted ‘Uniboob!’ as I raced by them on the track.” It’s one of her most shudder-worthy memories, and she notes she’s got an archive of stories just like it.
What about nursing moms trying to take care of themselves and the baby? No, they don’t get a break either! “Nursing sports bras, in theory, are a great idea,” says Kerri Burr. “Hey! I can go work out, and nurse the baby right when I get home! Perfect!” But like much of motherhood, she recalls that it never goes as perfectly as you’d planned. “You go out for a jog. The little clip unhooks itself, and all of a sudden you are way too ‘free’ to be in public.”
But then, sports bras don’t have to be the root of all apparel evil. For some women, they’re a saving grace. Kay Cherryholmes, a woman who has taken on such physical endeavors as swimming the Alcatraz Escape from the Rock, climbing to Mt. Everest base camp, and hiking the Camino in Spain, says she switched to sports bras full time when a “broken underwire almost punctured my left lung.” Stuffing her bras with tissue to deflect the wire only ended in embarrassment when the wad fell out during jump-roping next to a cute guy at the gym. “So I switched to sports bras and I’ve worn nothing else for about two years. It’s LOVE,” she says. (Pro Tip: The ENELL LITE is great for everyday wear.)
Do you have any sports bra nightmares? (Pre-ENELL, of course!)