You know when you’re headed to your in-laws over the holidays and there’s nothing you can really do about it except maybe hide a flask in your luggage and make the best of it? That’s kind of what it’s like living in bras. There’s nothing we can do about it, we’re going to be wearing these things until we die, so at least in the meantime we can make the best of this particular situation.
That starts with loving ourselves, and that means not punishing ourselves with ill-fitted bras or abusing their purpose in public. Bras should enhance and support one of the most curvaceous, empowering parts of our bodies. Use them wisely!
Here are seven deadly bra sins you’ve gotta put an end to, like yesterday!
Boob Purses. Let’s cut right to the chase here… your bra is not a purse, or a wallet, or a pocket. Wear a fanny pack if you must, but you gotta stop putting your phone, ID, cash, and keys down there. We can’t have you confusing nipples for nickels! Have you ever been a cashier on the receiving end of a bra purse situation? It’s nothing you ever want to have to repeat.
Double Down. This is less a public courtesy and more just general kindness to yourself, but stop putting yourself through the double-down two-bra nightmare. Trust us when we say - we’ve been there! That’s how Enell was born. If you’ve got to wear two bras or a sport bra over your bra or any other combo, it’s time to get fitted for the right bra.
Black Eye Boobs. We’ve all either been this woman or seen this woman and cringe each and every time. It’s painful to watch the boobs bounce and toss and lumber around under a shirt where it’s clear there’s little to no support. Get those puppies cinched up and strapped down properly so you don’t injure yourself. (Seriously, all that jostling can tear and damage the tissue in your breasts.)
Miss the Point. It’s fun to compare our breasts to majestic mountain peaks, but they shouldn’t resemble the rocky top. The points went the way of Madonna’s chart toppers and Dolly’s last hit, and we’re insistent on never seeing that particular come-back tour.
Ms. Fit’s Misfit. You know that feeling when the outfit kills? Everything is on point. You can strut out of your room feeling like you’ve got VIP seats at a Beyonce video shoot. That is, unless your bra doesn’t fit. Doing that shifty-shoulder thing, tucking and retucking, wiggling around like you’ve got ants in your pants...it will bring the hottest look to its knees. Girls, get fitted and you will transform your attitude, posture, and look!
Strap Slap Fever. They slip, you put ‘em back. They slide, you replace. And so it goes on and on in every meeting, dinner, grocery line, and chore you do all day long. Stop the insanity, go ahead and trash that bra, and get some straps that are going to stick! You don’t need that kind of stress in your life.
Black Bra Peek-A-Boo. Oh little black bra or hot pink daisy patterned bra… we see you, ever-so subtly, under that crisp white T-shirt and blouse. Even your dirtiest nude bra is better than this particular no-efs-to-give look.