Are you a hugger, or would you just rather not? Look forward to even the smallest gestures, or please don’t bother? Would rather hike together all day, or log as many snuggle hours as possible?
This is your love language talking.
The idea of love languages was developed by Gary Chapman, and it basically defines how you prefer to receive love. For new couples, or those veteran partners, it can boost communication and connectedness within the relationship. After counseling couples, Chapman says he realized “what makes one person feel loved isn’t always the same for their spouse or partner.”
He discovered that every person “understands and receives love in a specific language,” that he’s defined in 5 categories.
So we wonder...what if we did acts of self-care in our love language? Would we feel more complete, satisfied...loved? Here’s how to love yourself in your love language and find more satisfaction in your own being.
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
These people need to hear the love. Where your partner might say I love you or leave a thank you note, here’s how you can affirm yourself:
Leave post-its on your bathroom mirror with all of your best qualities, like you have beautiful eyes, thank you for going to the gym at 5am to take care of this body.
- Keep a journal and record notes about how you’re thriving at work, as a parent, in the gym, as a friend, and just at life.
- Write a mantra and meditate on those positive words of self-kindness and confidence.
ACTS OF SERVICE
These people appreciate actions more than words. Your loved one might pick up and run with the chore list, but acts of service for yourself could be:
Schedule grocery delivery with the likes of Instacart or Amazon Fresh to spare yourself the headache.
- Hire a cleaning service once or twice a month, or a dog walker from Rover on your busiest days.
- Use your bank’s e-pay system to automatically manage your bills.
These people feel the love when there’s a thoughtful gift or surprise. There are certainly ways to give to yourself that can boost the self-love:
- Order a monthly subscription box. There’s one to satisfy your itch for clothes, makeup, coffee, and just about anything else.
- Send yourself something pretty. Farmgirl Flowers lets you schedule once, weekly, or monthly.
- Make something you love, like DIY bath scrubs or your favorite homemade granola.
These people want meaningful, undivided attention from their partner without phones or other interruptions. Here’s how to score quality me-time and be present for yourself:
- Take a long, hot bubble bath; don’t forget your favorite evening beverage and a new book.
- Go to a movie by yourself, and don’t share the popcorn!
- Treat yourself to your favorite hobby, whether that’s gardening, hiking, painting, writing, or shopping.
For these people, love is never more apparent than when there is hand holding, hugs, or stroking an arm during a conversation. Here’s how to give yourself that loving touch:
- Schedule a massage or join a yoga class with a hands-on instructor.
- Indulge in the women’s self-pleasure subscription YourBoxBox; something new every month.
- Take time to rub lotion over your entire body after every shower. The fresh, glowing skin is a bonus!
Tell us what your love language is and how you plan to satisfy it for yourself!
Who knows, taking care of our own basic needs like that can only translate to having more capacity to speak the language our partners need us to.